The XL has a sizably larger handle that gets in the way of
Then there are the people that just naturally don want a relationship at all from the beginning. I mean, if you can be gay, straight, or both then it seems reasonable that you could be neither. I don think it reasonable to assume that just because someone doesn want a serious relationship that they are stereotypical incel.
I do think your anxiety around all of this is your body telling you to take a big wholesale sex toys0, big step back, and I think there’s a lot more to this than just “moving too fast”. This partner does not respect your boundaries. He doesn’t even seem to respect the idea of you HAVING boundaries.
I’ve never been homeless and I have no idea what your situation is so I can’t really give any true advice, but I have some ideas. My advice would to score an interview ASAP, the longer you’re homeless the more obvious it is and the worse your chances of being accepted by a company are. Like another poster said, you can get all of the resources you need from various shelters (depending on your location) so take full advantage.
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Be blunt with him. Tell him that even though HE may not care/have feelings about the abortion, YOU do. He doesn have to be personally sad over the abortion, but he does have to show that he cares about you, at least if he wants to continue the relationship..
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